My Dearest Phatty Boom.
You already know how devastated I am that you are leaving the Bay. I'm still in denial. I still remember when you'd run Lake Merritt with your mohawk, and I swear I thought you were way too cool for school. Definitely too cool for me. Then lo and behold, here we are, and I am apparently just the right amount of cool because we've become family. You're like a brother to me, Phatty! And I'm not just saying that. The are a lot of folks who I'm cool with, but you're my Top 5! Even though you were number 16 in my speed dial. But you know. Top 5 in my heart and Top 16 in my phone is a pretty good deal.
Thank you for being a part of my world. You've taught me to love the Bay more than I already do. You've even let me live in your house while you were gone! Thank you for being an example of a cool ass Chinese- pretty buoyant, baby. I think you're probably the only person I'll excuse for wearing New Balances (laced up tight, mind you) every single day, probably not excluding wedding season. I love you that much, Phatty Boom. hahah Jk.
And you know something. You're an incredible musician, and I hope you know that. I jock the PBS joints hella hard, as well as my Namu mixtapes, which, well...you don't really mix those, but Namu = Phatty, so you get my drift.
I love you immense Phatty! I'll miss you so much, it'll make me frown from time to time thinking about what the Bay would be like without you. Please talk to me on GChat while you're in LA. Update me, call me, see us up here regularly!
PS. Phatty the Fam! You're so lucky I'm not corny enough to call you Kuya. muahahaha
fap fap fapple
Love,
Ruby
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